If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
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