I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
