thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I still have a little drunk in my system
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
