Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
