Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
