If i come over, it means nothing
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
