I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
time to smoke my breakfast
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize