Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
