Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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