K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
