She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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