Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
