Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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