it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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