Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
