i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I forget how to act sober
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
