so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
