I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
