was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Panties = found
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
