I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
