Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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