Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
