I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
