I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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