if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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