sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
