Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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