I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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