Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
