I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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