I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
