Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just found a bag of teeth...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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