I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
