Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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