i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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