she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
