It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
