i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
