I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize