i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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