I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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