Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
