He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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