Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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