I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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