im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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