All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
