That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
