Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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