Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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