so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize