This girl is more easily done than said...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
