Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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