She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
