I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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