At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
