Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
