Do you still have your period?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We are all done wearing pants today
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
