her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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