This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Is Oprah even human
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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