Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
