Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
