ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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