I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
