i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
