youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
