All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
