This dress was meant to end up on your floor
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It's never too late to be topless.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize