now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize