Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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