Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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