Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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