She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
