do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
