I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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