there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize