i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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