I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You pole danced in your parka.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
