You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
