I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
